Happy 27th Birhday AJ!
I'm so happy about all the things you've achieved! You deserve all of it and a lot more!! Thank you so much for everything you do for your fans! We love you unconditionally! Thanks for being the Buffy to my Faith! - Jessy
"Evil Demon Baby"
by AJ, Kaitlyn and Jessy
Intro:
“Sat next to a possessed screaming baby for a FOUR hour flight! I feel..numb. Kaitlyn and I have decided to write a song about it. I’ll start “
Verse 1:
Evil demon baby
You have stole my soul,
Demon, demon baby
Your diaper’s full of coal “
Verse 2:
Evil demon baby
Your evil baby screams
Demon demon baby
I hear you in my dreams
Verse 3:
Evil demon baby
Your tears are full of hate,
Demon, demon baby
You won’t control my fate! “
Spoken: Let's go:
She is the leader of the pack,
She champion of the slap,
and if you don't believe it,
she will prove just that,
She loves a backstage fight,
And she was Bryan's black bride.
she is left-handed,
but she slaps with the right.
She loves to see all men in pain,
she kissed Punkers, goats and Kane.
There's an evil demon baby,
right on this plane.
Chorus:
She is freakishly impressive,
when she snaps, she is aggressive,
AJ is a bit possessive,
of her boyfriends' souls, (HEY)
she reaches her goals,
because AJ controls,
the demon baby's hate.
She is arisen from a fable,
They say she's mentally unstable,
just because she likes,
to put men through a table.
The true Diva Of The Year,
she's got a wonderful career.
You know what's really badass?
Her “Love Bites” gear.
She's got abs and brain,
cause, she knows how to train,
There's an evil demon baby,
right on this train.
Chorus:
She is freakishly impressive,
when she snaps, she is aggressive,
AJ is a bit possessive,
of her boyfriends' souls, (HEY)
she reaches her goals,
because AJ controls,
the demon baby's hate.
She is a nerdy geek,
she entertains us every week,
some may or may not
refer to her as freak.
She is a human doodle,
falls out of bed like a noodle,
Nacho's a chihuahua,
not some sort of a poodle.
She came incredibly far,
above her lip you see a scar.
There's an evil demon baby,
right in this car.
Chorus:
She is freakishly impressive,
when she snaps, she is aggressive,
AJ is a bit possessive,
of her boyfriends' souls, (HEY)
because AJ controls,
the demon baby's hate.
Bridge:
One slap to the face and she says good night,
you better run fast, because you can't hide,
There is no opponent,
she is not gonna bite.
Spoken: Because...
Chorus:
She is freakishly impressive,
when she snaps, she is aggressive,
AJ is a bit possessive,
of her boyfriends' souls,
she reaches her goals,
because AJ controls,
the demon baby's...fate.
1. It takes one epic AJ slap and your opponents are knocked out.
2. You put 2 men through a table.
3. So far you main evented Raw 3 times.
4. 4 is the number of finishers we've seen of you. The Shining Wizard, Sliced Bread, Octopus Hold and Super Slap. (I refused to count the Schoolboy Of Doom)
5. Danny, Punk, Kane, Cena and Ziggy make 5 TV-boyfriends. Also, Big E has some sort of obsession with that number...
6. You attended New York University's Tisch School of the Arts for 6 months.
7. On February 7, 2009, you teamed with Brittney Savage to defeat The Beatdown Betties and win the WSU Tag Team Championship. Also, you're your mom's 7th fave child although she only has 3.
8. The #KissedByAJClub so far consists of 8 members namely Primo, Cody, Swoggle, DBryan, Punk, Kane, Cena & Ziggy. And I didn't even count Roddy Piper's kiss on the hand.
9. In the NXT Rookie Diva Bull Riding Contest you lasted precisely 9,6 seconds on Bruno. Oh, Bruno is how I named the bull BTW.
10. You defeated 10 Divas in the Divas Summer Beach Battle Royal 2012. Also, Final Fantasy 10 & Metal Gear Solid are completely sold out all over the world after the geek goddess explained her affection for them.
11. Eleven seconds is how long your kiss with Kane in the boiler room at No Way Out lasted. That's the PPV you & Bryan made the commercial for. You know, the one where you tied DBryan & put him on the rails so he gets hit by a train.
12. An impressive number of 12 victims were forced to join the #SlappedByAJClub: Heyman, Punk, Bryan, Kaitlyn, Justin Roberts, Vickie Guerrero, Christian, Ziggy, Natalya, Danny Demanto, Roxxie Cotton, Kofi Kingston (I'm sure there are maaaany more out there but those were the ones I could think of.) You were 12 years old when you decided to become a Wrestler. Also, a year has 12 month. You're the Diva Of The Year.
13. There's a Videogame-you in WWE '13.
14. You made your FCW debut at the August 14 television tapings under the name "April Lee" in a fatal 4-way.
15. 15 Superstars/Divas were dashed to the ground as you victoriously raised the trophy as the 2012 THQ Superstar Challenge Champion.
16. On December 16, you defeated Naomi to win the FCW Divas Championship. This victory made you the first FCW Diva to have held both the Divas Championship and the title of Queen of FCW.
17. the seat you and your dad had at WrestleMania 20. Sec. 426, Row E. Nosebleed section.
18. the seat you and your dad had at WrestleMania 20. Sec. 426, Row E. Nosebleed section.
19. March 19 – Happy Geek Goddess Day!
20 ways to describe your EVIL side:
a: Let's begin with something rather harmless: You're a wee bit demonic. I also like the word sadistic. Terrifying & shocking seem to fit as well. Pick whichever you prefer.
b: I remember you declaring Aksana dead at some point. You called dibs on her dog, which is a good thing I think.
c: You tend to throw around chairs every now and then. Chairs and other random objects unsuspectingly lying in the backstage area after the NJ Screw job. In your hands, even the hairbrush before your “wedding” looked like a weapon.
d: You scared a woman by being behind her in three separate lines at the airport “purely by chance”. Breathing heavy & asking if she left the bathroom light on at home does not help.
e: You put Superstars through a table, you push them off a ladder or you stab someone with a trident. Favorable though, “you could chop a camel right in the hump and drink all of it's milk right off the tip of this thing.”
f: You smeared cake all over Bryan's beautiful goat face when you were at the bakery, which I think, was one of your most devastating maneuvers ever. If you take a close look, you'll see that there's still little pieces of cake in his beard today. And you left him at the altar. On the plus side, you did it Chuck Taylor-style.
g: That one time when the most horrifying monster the devil has ever let out of hell, whose only source of pleasure is eviscerating people, preferably priests (and Katie Vick), broke up with you because you were too much for him to handle.
h: You gave Justin Roberts a near-death experience because he sat at ringside (what a scoundrel) when we all witnessed the New Jersey Screw job.
i: Ever since you took a hammer as your swag at Marvel, mankind is unable to find any peace of mind.
j: You scared the heck out of Josh Matthews when you asked him whether he liked aggressive women.
k: Your love hurts a little bit and with a little bit I mean it's everlasting, hellish pain that changes their personality to the point where they wish their worst nightmares would become real just so they could escape this madness, the type of madness where they wouldn't even scream “I will eat your babies bi***” when randomly meeting Kaitlin Olson on the street.
l: Sometimes you hit innocent men in the back of the leg with shopping carts, that, or your protein shake “slips” out of your hand, does a moonsault & lands on a guy in a business suit.
m: You're very slap happy.
n: You have that thing, you know, when you “friendzone” guys that are so madly & irreversibly in love with you, that they propose to you in hope for a life in happiness & joy together with you and a little turtle, which would die way too early from diabetes.
o: You collected 100,000 souls before freeing Joey Mercury, whom you trapped in your basement with little food and only an iPhone with exceptional service. Actually I'm not even sure you really freed him. Oh God AJ, did you forget him down there?? Give him a blanket at least.
p: You're friends with Dr. Shelby.
q: Team Washboard Abs is a secret code word for Team Wardrobe Malfunction.
r: You had an entire phone conversation with the wrong person, which is slightly disturbing. What's even more disturbing is you having extensive conversations with mannequins. This is only trumped by you apologizing to a barbell after smashing your head into it. But why is this evil? Because I'm forced to suppress the need to put a word out there, you would need your earmuffs for.
s: The troops are frightened because of you maniacally laughing while in control of a giant gun.
t: You promised your first born child to the ladies at Budget counter. Jack is going to feel like a newer (and more muscular) version of “dumpster baby”.
...Sorry, had to cut out some of the real evil things since we're in PG era. I don't know who reads this.
21 ways that describe your GOOD side:
a: You won't slap me in the mouth for how I just described your evil side.
b: You care about shelter pets & you rescued Milli and Vinilli.
c: You're often proposed to...like really often. You must be kinda fancy.
d: You're pretty funny...although there's only a thin line of you being “funny” and you being “sadistic”.
e: You're friends with Benny, the koala, Reynold, the red sheep, Vanessa, the unicorn, Felipe, the adorable little green figurine and Beets, the Beetle. Although I assume the latter was more of a love-hate relationship. He loved how you hated him.
f: All men want to be with you. All women want to be best friends with you. You're a role model and a true inspiration. So many chicks out there (including myself) look up to you as you show them that nothing is impossible & you can do anything with hard work, dedication & a chance. You worked very hard for everything you achieved, you never gave up, took risks and followed your destiny despite all hurdles.
g: Your facial expressions reach from adorably innocent to terrifyingly furious and that's only in the opening segment.
h: You're tough. You were run over by the world's biggest athlete and you came back stronger than ever. You may not be the tallest Diva on the roster but you're definitely the biggest & most badass star!
i: I feel like you're the first woman ever, who truly represents the girls in the WWE Universe crowd. You're very relatable.
j: You're real. You never pretended to be something you're not.
k: I'm using k to ask you if it's weird that it was so much easier for me to describe your evil side?
l: You're smart. You don't settle for one guy when you can have 3 top stars at the same time.
m: You have a heart for big monsters and little Hornswoggles, which proves that size doesn't matter to you. It's all about the size of the heart & the candy ring.
n: You're amazingly talented. You're the most athletic Diva I've ever seen.
o: You always make us laugh, if it's by putting stones in Kaitlyn's fanny pack or with spoiling coffee over yourself at an average number of 3 times a week.
p: You are very brave as you seem to be a regular yet unwelcome guest of the men's locker room.
q: I admire how versatile you are. Tag Team Wrestling, Singles competition, being a manager, guest time keeper, special guest referee or having a role of authority, you just rule at everything.
r: You never back down from any fight. No matter how tall they are you just slap them in the face.
s: Kudos to you for enduring “swarms of bees and zombies” on a daily basis.
t: There's a special place in your heart for unicorns. All of your fans started to believe in reincarnation just because they hope to be born again as a unicorn to serve as your ultimate source of joy.
u: You like Pokémon. I mean how cool are you?? You're a gamer chick. Bonus points for you on so many levels. You won the WM THQ Superstar Challenge 2012 being the first ever female to raise the trophy in victory.
22. On October 22 your glorious era as GM ended as you resigned. And a new AJ era full of ladders, falling Christmas trees and chocolate...a lot of chocolate...began.
23. On July 23 you were part of Raw 1000 as you almost married a goat, but then swiftly declined for being the boss of the flagship show of the world's most popular wrestling company.
24. Mattel's WWE Basic Series 24 brought us the most epic Action figure of all times: a mini AJ Lee. (no pun intended)
25. Your first kiss with Ziggy lasted 25 seconds. That's 7 seconds longer than Daniel Bryan's WM match! Also, your age yesterday.
26. → Your age today. Congrats on surviving 26 years of being the biggest human doodle the world has ever seen. That's not an easy thing to do I guess.
To sum up you're a pretty amazing human being and you're not crazy...you're just creatively insane!
Happy 26th Birthday April from Jessy!
